Fort Collins, Here I Come!

Tomorrow morning at 9am I will be on a jet plane on my way to the wonderful city of Fort Collins, Colorado. Okay, I don't actually know that it's wonderful because I've never been, but 3 of my closest heart friends are there, and that makes it wonderful.

This is a crazy time with school, right in the middle of studying for finals, finishing up semester long group projects, and writing huge papers, BUT, there is no place else I'd rather be this weekend. I love the three girls I am going to see, and I cannot wait to just be with them for four days.

Mountains, cold, bike-riding through town, Kass, Cor, and Michelle, HERE I COME!!

Sweet Aggie Hoops

Today was a big day in the history of my life. I went to my first Aggie basketball game. Yes, ever.

I know I am a junior in college and this is a sport we have actually done pretty well in, but I just honestly have never liked basketball very much.

Today I decided to change that and be spontaneous with my roommate and go to a game, and it was such a wonderful experience. Basketball is fast, it's crazy, and it's just fun. And on top of this, I just love Aggie sports. There are no fans that compare to Aggie fans, and you can't argue with that. We stand the whole time, we have cheers for everything, and we love our team no matter what. It really is a beautiful thing.

Needless to say, I am glad I experienced this, and who knows, maybe I'll even start going to more basketball games.

That's right. Don't put me in a box.

Still on Pause

The start of this semester has brought about a lot of different emotions for me, as I guess is to be expected after having spent 5 months in a foreign country.

Christmas break is always weird when you are in college because it is like a pause in your life. Now everyone is back in school and "normal life" and has simply pressed the play button again and picked right back up. I pressed the play button also, but I missed the first half of the movie, and am struggling to get caught up.

Everyone around me has their "nitch"; their organization or club they're involved in, they're weekly schedule, their job, the people they consistently pour into, etc. But I am trying to figure all of that out, and it is a very awkard place to be in this time of the year. And in that, I am trying to make the best decisions, and am constantly torn.

I have gone back and forth every semester with what majors/minors I should have, what classes are the best, etc etc, and once again, I lived into that this semester. After a lot of thought and wisdom from other people, I've decided to stick with what I have, add one more minor, and have an easier load from here on out and a free summer. I also am making myself not go back on this or question it, as it is a little ridiculous at this point and me just trying to be a perfectionist.

Right now, I am deciding what organizations and weekly commitments to add to my life, and have been praying for strong, clear direction, as it hasn't been easy. There is so much I want to be and be a part of, but I don't know if it's wise to add more commitments and more people to my life. I have been truly blessed with simply the sheer amounts of friendship I have, and right now wisdom may look like slowing my life down and having more time to pour into people. But at the same time, I want to say that I'm in college and am being handed so many great opportunities that I want to take advantage of. This is where I struggle, with the battle between the two.

Applications for things are due in the next couple of days. Pray I get this figured out!

It's About Time

Over a year.

That's how long it took me to make chocolate chip cookies that not only taste good, but that don't look like they've been run over and something you probably wouln't want to put in your mouth.

For anyone who knows me and has spent a significant amount of time around me, a pretty common description of me is "makes never-done-correctly cookies". Seriously. One of my friends wrote me a letter and ended with a few phrases/words that describe me, and this was included in that.

My poor roommates last year. They had to deal with my breakdowns many times after I would pull the cookies out of the oven, and once again, they would look like pancakes. They even made cookies with me and watched my every move to make sure I wasn't doing anything wrong. But, much to our dismay, they still turned out bad. So then they changed their methods, and instead of trying to help me, they just made me list off other things I was good at cooking, so as to take my focus off my inability to make cookies.

I was convinced our oven just had it out to get me.

I would get so frustrated, because I just wanted to be good at baking simple chocolate chip cookies from scratch. I love having people over and having a fresh plate of cookies. I love hearing about somebody's bad week and then bringing them a simple plate of warm cookies. I love the labor of love that goes into homemade cookies, and how that simplicity can bring joy to anyone's life, even if only for a moment.

I've always wanted to be that girl/woman/mom who makes amazing chocolate chip cookies and always has them set out, sort of as a "welcome to my home, make it yours too".

About a month ago while I was in Argentina, I decided to teach my host mom and her granddaughters how to make "american" cookies (since they have no concept of this), and I just prayed that this time it would work out. And they did, and were quite delectable! And I proceeded to make them a few more times, all turning out wonderfully!

Since I've been home I've made a few bathches that have been wonderful AND beautiful, much to my surprise. I have not changed anything in my recipe, trust me, I've gone over it a million times. I just think my unlucky streak is over.

Praise the Lord. There will be no more making fun of my cookies, only praise and admiration for how good they are.

Rethinking Christmas

Being in a foreign country until just a few days before Christmas makes this holiday extremely different.

I didn't decorate my house/room this year.

I didn't help put up the family Christmas tree.

I haven't done any Christmas shopping, and most likely won't do any (except the gifts I buy here).

I don't hear Christmas music in every store I walk into.

I don't have ads shoved in my face all the time encouraging me to buy, buy, buy and spend, spend, spend.

I haven't and most likely won't experience the stress of making sure I buy just the right gifts for just the right people, to the point where this is my focus and it is taken away from all of the other important aspects of Christmas.

Now, yes, there is a huge part of me that is missing being around for everything leading up to Christmas (including the Starbuck's peppermint mocha latte), but at the same time, not being in all the hussle and bussle of this season gives me a new outlook on this holiday, and truly allows me to focus on what's important.

Christmas has somehow turned into a season of shopping lists, stress, and pure consumerism, yet it is supposed to be a story of the revolutionary love of a Savior. I think it is time for us to rethink the way we do things this season. It's time for something radical.

Worship Fully. Spend Less. Give More. Love All.

Watch this video, look around the website, consider it for youreself....http://www.adventconspiracy.org/

What if we took our Christmas gift budget, gave it away (in our loved-one's names), to organizations that will give it directly to those who suffer most, and use the time and headache we've saved to give of ourselves relationally, to those we love?

Christmas is not about us, and it's not about gifts. It's about love, radical love. Let's show love this Christmas season to our friends and family by the time we give them, and show love to the poor and oppressed, as we are called to, by spending our money somewhere it is actually needed.

Here's a few ideas...

http://www.ijm.org/holidaygiftcatalog

IJM is a human rights agency fighting for justice and is truly making a difference in our world today. Support them and those they are helping by buying a gift of freedom in your loved one's name.

http://store.gxonlinestore.org/

http://tradeasone.com/

Both of these websites are fair trade sites. By buying fair trade products, you ensure that the product you purchase is made in conditions that are not harmful to the workers, the community, or the environment. Also, you can help break cycles of poverty as you are giving hope and income to the poor.

http://donate.worldvision.org/OA_HTML/xxwv2ibeCCtpSctDspRte.jsp?a=b

World Vision is a Christian humanitarian organization fighting for justice and a better world for children and their families. Give a donation or a gift, or even better, sponsor a child.

http://www.tomsshoes.com/

TOMS shoes. Who doesn't want a pair of these? For every pair you buy, you are actually buying two pairs, one of which goes to a child who doesn't have shoes. Two gifts in one...perfect.

http://www.heifer.org/

Heifer is an organization that has always been close to my heart. Heifer's mission is to work with communities to end hunger and poverty and to care for the earth. Give a gift of an animal in the name of a loved one. This animal, whichever you choose, goes to a family and gives them a way of life. The family is taught how to care for this animal, and therefore is not just given a one time donation, but a way of life so they can sustain themselves. It really is an amazing organization, please check it out.

Join me in rethinking Christmas this year.

Traveling!

In just a few short hours I will be on a bus for the next 22 hours going to Bariloche, Argentina! Barlioche is supposedly gorgeous, as it is seated in the Andes mountains with lots of beautiful lakes around.

From there, we will find a bus that takes us over to Chile, where we have an idea of a city we want to stay in there. Then we will head up to ValParaiso, Chile, seated on the beautiful Pacific coast! Then finally, we will head over to Mendoza, Argentina for a night and are hoping to do a bike wine tour.

None of our trip is planned minus our bus ticket for today, and that really excites me, as I'm doing something a little different than my norm. I am excited about just going with the flow, letting things happen as they will, and being able to live in and love each city as I am on no schedule nor have any obligations.

We are shooting to be back by next Wednesday, and then that Friday we leave again to the north of Argentina for a week! And then the long-awaited day is just a couple days around the corner after that.

I can't believe I am going home in three weeks, it feels so surreal. I am so excited about these next couple weeks of traveling, but I will be ready to get on that plane back to Houston on Dec. 15th.

Love and miss you all!

A Change of Pace

I went to the office today expecting to go to cooking classes like I had signed up for, but I ended up doing something completely different. The owner of LIFE, Liliana, was at the office for the day organizing and just getting everything in order. I met her one of the last times I was at the office, so I talked to her today while we were waiting for the van to come and pick us up. She has been traveling for I think the last couple of months around Europe doing stuff for the organization, and just returned a couple of weeks ago. Because of that, everything got very disorganized while she was gone and now she is under a lot of stress trying to re-order everything. I told her that if she wanted me to stay back at the office with her I would, so she readily accepted. The main thing I did was sort clothes the rest of the day, a very tedious job but one that actually wasn’t too bad for me.

Every month, once a month, LIFE goes to Misiones, a province in the far Northeast of Argentina, where most of the people are indigenous and very poor. LIFE goes and brings them clothes, toys, food, and other things, and then just spends a weekend with them, hanging out and loving on them. This is a very big part of what LIFE does, which I actually had no idea about. Because of this, they are always collecting clothes and have never ending amounts of clothes. There are donation boxes for LIFE all around town, at hostels, churches, etc., and they are constantly receiving endless amounts of donations. So, what we did was sort through bags and bags of clothes, throwing away what was unusable, then sorting into piles of colors to be washed.

(*side note: it is extremely ridiculous sometimes what people choose to give away: socks with holes in them, stained underwear, completely ripped clothing. It definitely makes me not feel bad about throwing clothes away any more; if I can’t wear it, then I’m sure somebody else can’t either).

So what I did for the rest of the day was sort through bags and bags of clothes: dirty ones (which Lily actually takes home and washes herself) and then organizing the clean ones by age and season. But more than this, I got to see a lot more of how the organization is run, as I was in the office all day surrounded by the owner and the interns watching everything take place. Also, I loved getting to know the owner/manager of LIFE and just hearing more of her story and her heart for this organization. It is amazing to see how involved she is in the organization and how she delegates well but yet still has a hand in everything. She did not just start the organization and then hand it off, but she gets her hands dirty with the rest of us.

On a whole, today was so encouraging for me. It was really long, as I was at the office for hours sorting through clothes, had nothing to eat all day, and my back hurt from being hunched over clothes all day. But, I loved spending the day with the owner, getting to know her, and seeing a whole other side of the organization that I otherwise would never have seen. I loved not just showing up and trekking along on an activity with everyone else, but sticking around the office and the people that work there and more fully seeing what they do and how everything is run. I got to see more of how they accomplish their purposes, and how those purposes are even bigger than I had imagined. My task was very tedious, but I have a knack for organizing and Lily has desperately been needing someone like that, therefore I know I was more helpful to her than I could imagine. I loved seeing a whole different side of LIFE and getting a bigger picture of the whole organization.

Learning through Frustration

Volunteering has been going really well, although it hasn't fully been what I expected. I became a little discouraged last week as I was being to feel very ineffective and therefore having a hard time putting my all in.

One of the reasons behind this is the volunteers of LIFE are organized. LIFE does not require it’s volunteers to commit to any specific period of time, but rather allows you to come in and volunteer when you want and for how long you want, after you have a short orientation with them before you start. This makes this organization a very popular one for people from all over the world to travel to and volunteer with, since there isn’t a lot of commitment and it is also very cheap. But at the same time, very few real relationships are built with the kids that LIFE works with, because there is such inconsistency with the volunteers.

LIFE only visits each barrio one day a week, and almost every week the kids see someone different. For me, I think a lot is lost here, as I believe so much of helping people is building relationships with them. I really struggle with doing “service projects”, such as going and serving a need or a group of people for one day, then leaving them and possibly never seeing them again. Yes, I may be serving the need for that one day, but ultimately I don’t feel like I’m being very effective as I’m not building any type of relationship with the people I’m serving. For example, with the kids in the barrios we go to, I may work with a kid one day doing a math worksheet, but maybe this kid actually struggles more with writing, and therefore the better use of time would be doing a worksheet on writing. But I would have no way of knowing that because I have no knowledge of this child or the best way to help him or love him.

This really frustrates me, and really discourages me, making me not want to go from activity to activity every week, meeting different kids every time, and trying to help them as best as I know how with the very limited range of knowledge I am given about the child.

LIFE is great for people who want to volunteer for a short period of time and/or want something flexible if they have a desire to travel while they are here. Many volunteers from all over the world come in and out of LIFE all the time, and it makes for a lot of help with all the events and also neat experiences of getting to know other volunteers. Also, the volunteers learn a lot and truly have their eyes opened to a whole other world; the world of extreme poverty. Even just in the few times I have visited the different villages, my eyes have been opened so much to the poverty that truly exists, and not just in Argentina, but all over the world, even in my hometown.

I think I live in a bubble far too often with my eyes shut off to any of this going on in the world around me, and sometimes that is because I can’t handle thinking about/seeing it, and sometimes that is simply because I rarely choose to venture out of my safe and comfortable world. Experiencing this, I think LIFE is a great program for the volunteers, for them to grow as people, and maybe inspire others to be more aware and proactive in the poverty that surrounds us all.

But, it is still hard for me to see this as extremely useful to the children, as there is no commitment on the volunteer’s parts. I am not feeling like going back tomorrow and going and doing the same thing again with another child that I don’t know how to serve best.

One thing I do need to remember though is that it's not always about the bigger picture and I never know whose life I am affecting. I just have to trust that I am serving and loving my best, and through that the Lord is working through me, touching lives and accomplishing his purposes.

I also tend to be focused on the bigger more organizational side of things, and so what’s almost harder for me is to be a volunteer who is not in control of anything, and just to be participating in the events. I want to see how the organization is run, how it’s accomplishing it’s goals in the broader scale, and how ultimately they are helping people. But I am not always going to be on that side of things and I can’t always expect too either, therefore I need to love and enjoy where I am at, just loving these children one day at a time, trusting that the Lord is working through me and there are bigger things going on than I can see. This almost makes this experience more difficult for me, but it is something I obviously need to learn more of.